not ancient - just 2002-03. which feels a teeny bit ancient right now:

"an older lady in a long fuzzy robe, nightgown, and house sandals hurrying into 7-11 laughing and saying sheepishly to anyone who looked at her, "¡es que lo mandé a buscar la leche pero no...es que se acabó la leche!"

a guy outside talking on the payphone, next to the dumpster, stamping on an old sheet of newspaper on the ground that caught fire when he tossed his cigarette on it.

catching a glimpse, through half-open jalousie windows, of an older man in the shower, from the shoulders up, turning off the water."

 
i am so so sleepy, but am in one of those "i'm not going to bed" moods. nights. i made my lunch for tomorrow, or at least part of it: tabouli/tabouleh?, plain yogurt with blackberries and flaxseed, and mary's gone crackers crackers (duh) with peanut butter. i'm planning to make spinach and tofu in the morning to take as well. if i need it.

i am exhausted. i didn't do what i said i was going to do with my oa assignment. i just realized. maybe that's what this is all about, the compulsive surfing and reading and distraction. and tiredness. i wish this was like livejournal, where i could turn it off on some posts. or i mean, hide myself.

sitting on the couch waiting room at the gym, feeling self-conscious, reading miami ink, peeking out of the corners of my eyes. and trying to pretend i'm not doing it. i was wearing a gold ribbed tank top that was actually too big for me. and my brown skirt was actually too big, too. and the jacket. damn it, the whole outfit was basically too big for me. igual, i feel ugly and uncomfortable whether my clothes are too big or too small. i need new clothes.

 the bus took almost exactly an hour, maybe a bit more, to get me to work today. actually more. i sat at the bus stop for about half an hour. then the bus took about 45 minutes-1 hour. it was really crowded. i could not read or write or draw in peace. so instead, i planned.